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Astrologers on Becoming Parents

Astrologers on Becoming Parents

Episode 184 features a discussion with Ashley Otero and Patrick Watson about what it is like for an astrologer to become a parent, and some of the unique questions that arise when parenting with astrology.

Ashley and Patrick are both professional astrologers who have become parents over the past few years, and this experience has raised a lot of interesting questions for them in a number of areas.

You can find out more about Ashley at: CosmicSoupBowl.com

You can find out more about Patrick at: PatrickWatsonastrology.com

Here are some of the questions we tried to address in this discussion:

Episode Outline

  • What’s it like to be a parent and an astrologer?
  • Are there factors about delineating a child’s chart that feels unethical?
    • Does it feel unethical or risky to predict aspects of a child’s future with astrology?
    • Does speculating the probabilities of your child’s (or anyone else’s child) chart carry the risk of unintentionally shaping the parent’s perception of the child’s life and choices?
  • Have there been milestone moments when you recorded the date and time that they occurred in order to cast a chart?
    • Or does doing so take a person out of the present?
  • Have you personally witnessed transits to your child’s chart manifesting more directly in your life rather than their life (such as their 7th or 10th house transits)?
  • How does observing the 4th/10th houses of your child influence your perception of yourself and has it helped you decide how to behave with your child/children?
  • Have you found yourself able to reconcile differences between you and your children by consulting the composite chart or comparing the natal charts?
  • Some astrologers who are also parents might feel anxious about approaching transits that their child/children will experience (like perhaps Mars transits or other character-forming transits from outer planets for example). Have you experienced this, or did you manage to find a way to deal with trying transits, such as the Mars return which happens around the age of two?
  • How do you feel about analyzing the zodiacal releasing periods of children’s charts–particularly for career?

If you are an astrologer and a parent, let us know what you think of some of the questions we discussed in this episode in the comments section below.

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A full transcript of this episode is available: Episode 184 transcript

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  • Thanks for this interesting topic and yes agree that we need to start an astro parent support group!

    Definitely find astrology more useful as the kids are getting older (now 7, 5, 2 years), esp with issues like school, friendships, sibling rivalry, conflicts with parents or friends, etc. I love the term “quiet knowing” that Chris used, as it makes so much sense. In the chaos of home life, astrology does provide a sense of calm and perspective. I would love to hear the perspective from an astrologer with older children(teens to 30s perhaps) as i imagine astrology would be even more helpful esp with managing one’s own worries about things outside of one’s control (ie kids new to driving, traveling overseas, partying, etc).

    I do look at the kids natal charts often- partly because it’s an amazing way to see first hand all the visceral details of planetary placements and their aspects. I do find kids have such a raw and unfiltered response to planetary changes and it’s great to observe this in action with front row seats. Even responses to daily planetary hours is fascinating to watch. That said, there’s no time for detailed analysis. Everything is observed on the fly! I tend to look at secondary progressions for a larger perspective of their overall life because my kids’ charts have plenty of activity with planets moving in and out of retrograde by progressions, sign changes, etc. Transits also helpful but i do find they are projected onto parents and the environment around them esp with the younger ones. It’s almost like the events caused during a transit are occurring in the parents’ lives but the emotional response correlating to that event is displayed by the child.

    I’m all about letting the kids find their own niche rather than guiding them towards something i may think is prominent in their chart. If anything, i indulge in the odd astro sticky beak just cos mums need to know everything but usually it’s too good of a learning opportunity to not do – they are the best astrology teachers! And all this silent knowing i think will come in handy in the future as their lives evolve into adulthood and their issues become more multi faceted and complex.

    So mainly general astro viewing is all i have time for except for one period of time when my eldest had health issues (around 1yo), i used horary to help guide me.

    Also i think it was patrick that mentioned he and his wife had ruler of 5th in the same house (9th? ). My husband and i both have our 5th ruler in the same house too. I wonder whether this is a common occurrence for parents.

    Thanks again for thergreat show xx

  • T​hanks for this episode, it’s a great topic for discussion. Patrick’s partially joking suggestion of astro parents groups might actually be useful. Most of the new moms I know feel very alienated in the first months of becoming a mom, as most of their friends have different rhythms of life. For the ones that are into astrology, there’s an added layer of not having with whom to share experiences and observations. So, for sure, that’s a good idea, not for one, but for several groups 🙂

    I’m not a parent myself (not yet), but that’s something I’m considering for the near future. Meanwhile, I take close notice of charts of friend’s babies, and how they’re developing as tiny interesting humans. It’s especially interesting to observe the family dynamics developing and some hints from the chart taking form, as times go by. As, for example, the birth of the new sister coinciding with Saturn transiting over the older sister’s ascendant in Capricorn (which is also the ruler of the mom’s 5th in Capricorn). The repetition of patterns within families is something I also tend to take notice of .

    One good tip I took from the podcast was to write down the details of important milestones for further analysis, as probably one wont have check them in real time.

    The golden rule for astrology people vs babie’s charts, as it was mentioned in the podcast, should be to serve mostly as the silent observer. Parents, especially new parents, are anxious all the time. So any person talking to parents about their children should use their power of influence wisely. Specially if this counseling was not sought for, as in a conversation among friends who are not into astrology. But even in a consultation it should be treated very carefully, as the child’s early experiences are very much making the child. So, it seems to me the best approach to a parent seeking a consultation on their child’s chart should be to first give some reassurance to the parents themselves. Make sure that the parents feel centered and that they’re making their decisions from the best of their abilities. And then let life roll, while giving them some insights into their kid’s tendencies.

    Probably astrology works at it best between astrologer and the chart owner. But as surely some parents will seek this kind of consultation, my point would be to focus on the parent, so they focus on themselves, their feelings and behaviors, and not so much on grooming the child to be something specific or on the terrible things that can happen to their child, as a lot of parents worry, astrology or not. So, to use their interest in how their child “is going to be” to help them be better parents in the now. And there is where my psychology and education background comes forward 🙂

    Probably, people that are drawn to astrology are also prone to anxiety, as you have to be over analytical to be able to look at charts over and over, and are constantly struggling with past and future. That’s where such astro parents groups could be useful, working towards shared info and insights, so, easing the struggle, instead of over inflaming (astro) parents anxieties.

  • juicy!
    Mother of four kids under 12, and convinced the only ‘nurture’ that counts is the pre-natal environment, mother’s emotions.

    My knowledge of astrology has turned me away from studying their charts too closely because they live – they ARE – the Pluto/Uranus square, which is like living with un-appeasable, volatile gods. I come from Plutonians and they all have strong Pluto aspects, to the point that I wrote to Donna Cunningham’s column, who, bless her, told me not to worry…..Still – do I want to look at how I look to them through their charts? sometimes, no, I do not want to understand myself as Pluto Mom!

    I have 3 cardinal boys and a fixed daughter – who was caught by her dad with a ‘hello, princess!’ – she’s a Leo.

    They have manifest their natal placements from the first breath. The Cancerian has Aries rising and Moon opposite Pluto and has always been attracted to images of fire, weapons and explosion and dark stuff, much to the concern of his Waldorf teachers even at age 3. He was born between the deaths of my parents and that pre-natal experience is symbolized by his OOB Moon opposite Pluto.

    The middle two were born under water – the first has a 12th house Sun and Neptune rising. Incidentally, I did a lot of visualizing of scuba diving among coral reefs to relax when I was pregnant. He’s a Cap who had Pluto cross his Sun at age 3/4, has sustained injuries to his head and eyes. the Nodes moving into Cap is more than I can think about these days. And here comes Saturn to contact all their Suns…ug.

    The third, also a water birth, has cancer rising. All four are reflected in my natal chart – I have moon in the 5th and my first is a Cancerian. The second is a Capricorn, and I have Saturn in the 7th.

    Following the turned chart, the third would be a Gemini, but he’s an Aries, but of a personality that drove me to the dr for help because ‘it’s like he’s a jekyll and hyde!!’ ( cuddly and then irate, by turns). The 4th is a Leo – my 11th house.

    The two who have Libra moons – they watch my marriage closely and I know they are being imprinted. The Gemini Moon picks up all the bad words – his moon is OOB and opposed Pluto – he screamed bloody murder the one and only time i tried to take him into a church! The Cap moon Aries is ambitious AF.

    Agree, that anxiety / desire to know or control the future attracts some (me) to astrology, so I have to manage my dose. I do protect the Cap boy when something martian or pluto comes around b/c, with neptune rising and 12th house sun, he’s often not in his body. But too much info is not healthy because moms can’t be objective, especially when simple transits manifest in accidents, and there have been too many.

    I have found it helpful to remember that Mars returns coincide with ‘terrible twos’ ( etc) and given them a break. And I sometimes find it helpful that astrological charts reflect the native’s radio tuning – this child is sensitized to this experience of others, while another child is not. i have 8 siblings and none of us would agree on a single portrait of who our parents were because we are each tuned to different frequencies.

    I am also interested in the doctrine of planetary development- a child is lunar till age three, mercurial at the time of language acquisition (3 -ish…) then Venusian, then Saturn at 7. Not sure of the origin of this buy Lynn Bell spoke of it in one her lectures….

    But after a dozen years of observation, they haven’t changed a whit since they were born, just become more of the natal inheiritance.

  • Really enjoyed the show and related to a lot of this. I have 3 children, 14, 13 & 9. It was funny hearing Ashley’s son and my youngest son (9) b-days are a day apart and have the same moon and rising signs! Personally I also have 5th house Saturn and always worry a little l,but listening to Patrick (who has this in common) made think about this in a more big picture way. I ageee that parenting via your children’s natal charts is too fraught and children have their own dharma to live. BUT it is so interesting to glean insights into their ways of being and what I especially enjoy is the strong reinforcement and clarity you get from observing quietly the way their charts play our right before you.

    Still a lot to discuss and would be good to get some astrologers with older children to discuss next.

  • I have two ‘kid’s age 33 and 38. I learned astrology after the birth of the second. I wish I had learned it earlier as it has made understanding my kids so much easier. I love what Frances says, they arrive with their chart already fully functioning and just become more and more like themselves./their charts with time. The most interesting part of their charts for me is of course their Moons. I have an Aq moon and both of them do too. . I could go on and on in this vein but suffice to say:, Astrology really is like DNA except it’s much more interesting!

  • I’ve a 12 year old daughter. I was not an astrologer when I became a mother, but she was the catalyst for my spiritual awakening that led me to astrology as my truth. Interesting that my 5th house ruler is the Sun, which is in my 9th house, fits the symbolism for sure. It’s been a wild ride as her parent, she has 5 planets in Scorpio – Mars, Venus and Sun in the first degree conjunct my Jupiter and opposite my Moon and Saturn conjunction at 1-2 degrees Taurus. My Ascendant at 24 degrees 23 min Aries is her Midheaven at 23 deg 40 minutes, so her nadir is my Descendant. I divorced her father, at least started the process in mid 2010, only it took over a year to finally get to mediation and then truly finalized in Feb 2012. The process included a peak experience, more on that later, but the astrology came to me then via dreams. It was a true life saver when I was in the process of letting go of my old identity and life. I could see the living astrology with my daughter’s chart and the impact of my decision to leave my marriage, her Saturn in Leo in her first house at 23 degrees squares her Jupiter/Mercury in her 4th in Scorpio. But it was perfection in Saturn coming to her IC on the separation/divorce. Since then there have been other moments that her chart illuminated many life experiences especially since our angles are so intertwined. Our lives are intricately connected. Her father’s Sun is zero Cancer, so it is a close bond with him too. His rising sign is also Leo like hers, but around 28 degrees, so his ASC is near her Saturn and square to her Jupiter/Mercury in her 4th. His 5th house is Sagittarius with Jupiter in Leo in 1st, though his Moon is in 6th in Capricorn, at 7 degrees . Challenging for nurturing and family for sure, as his Saturn is in Aries in his 9th house at 11 degrees but opposite his Mars at 19 in Libra. I’ve learned so much from the chart and transits of my daughter and her father, but also it has helped to understand how to meet her nurturing needs at home and in her learning environment as she’s grown. I continue to learn. I’ve also learned how to be a better observer. Having astrology insights as things are happening allows for a more tuned in response for a better outcome. I think it has helped me co-parent and no when not to engage on something when its “hot” so to speak.

    Astrology also helped me understand my own parents and their strengths and faults and my personal experience versus that of my siblings. I have 7 natural siblings and 2 step siblings. I learned a lot about 4th house, 5th house along with the moon and the ASC of my mother who had 8 children and 4 other pregnancies that did not result in live birth. I learned that it truly is a combination of the house of children, but also rulers (moon and ASC) in my mother’s chart. I used to wonder why she had so many children, when I worked with her chart I could see why.

    Thanks for sharing on this subject it is really valuable and as an astrologer I think it makes me a better parent. Though it is an ongoing spiritual lesson to let go of worrying about what is in her chart that can go different ways in her future, as her parent it is my job and gift to love and protect her, give her guidance for her development to leap from home base into the world and allow her to be herself and accepted for all she is. What she becomes from it in time is up to her spirit and drive for living her life fully.

  • I watched thew discussion with Ashley and Patrick. I share their concerns on how to interpret a child’s chart. I just want to mention that my book “Kidwheels: Understanding the Child in the Chart” was just published by The Wessex Astrologer and is available through AFA or Amazon. This book is a summary of my research with preschoolers in finding the temperamental type of the child (based on modern principles of child development). This system presents a safe platform to dicuss the temperamental type of the child with the parents which focuses on the child’s needs and parenting strategies which will work best for the child’s positive development. I wrote the book with the purpose of helping astrologers in consulting parents. My research was also printed in the AFA Research Journal of 2018. I believe, like Marianne Williamson, the most effective way of changing the world lies in how we raise our children. Astrologers can play an important role in this process.